The Year of 2011 (expanded resolutions)

I suppose that this year I should finish what I have started and never finished.

What I have always been interested in, but never done.

What I know would make me a better and happier person.

I think that change kind of frightens me.

I like to rely on what I have, and not try new things.

So, this year, I am going to go out of my comfort zone.

Instead of avoiding people in the store, I will say hi and start a conversation.

I will finish reading the Book of Mormon (which I have been trying to finish for years, literally).

I am going to make time, every day, every single day, to smile.

And to visit with my family.

I hate to be a homework obsessed freak.

So I am going to do other things.

I am going to go to Zumba classes.

I am going to practice Yoga, and will learn how to become a better balanced person because of it.

I am not going to be afraid to ask questions, or to be my own self, my own me.

I am also joining in on the journey with my mother and younger sister that consists of the absence of sweets for one whole year.  No chocolate for you, Mallory.  No Root Beer Floats.  Dang.

I just thought the other day, why not do it.  Why not.

I am going to not be afraid of the SAT or ACT.  I kind of pee my pants whenever I think about them.

I'm also going to be nice.  I have turned into a bitter old young woman, and I dislike it.  I remember one time, while I was in Costa Rica, I was on a tour with my mother.  I met a blonde woman from NY and she told me one day while we were frolicking in the Ocean:

"Mallory, I don't like the way you have been acting lately.  You used to always be so positive and happy, but lately you have been very negative."

Whenever I call somebody an idiot, or frown constantly, my little subconscious self reminds me of what she told me that day.  I was only in fifth grade and around eleven years old, I but I knew how it felt to be ashamed of myself.  To be ashamed of who I had become, or was acting like.

This year, I am going to make an effort to help others.  At church, a woman (who is very nice, I might add) spoke to the entire congregation during sacrament about new year resolutions.  It was the most humbling thing to hear her talk about her admiration for her husband, because he had goals for this year to serve others.  I want to marry a man like that.  Someone who is sensitive and kind, and is willing to help others.  But I am not planning on getting married soon.  So I am making a goal to help others.  Whether it be with homework, with drama problems, with personal issues, and I want to make others happy.

I have been complimented (not to brag) about my humor.  I suppose I like my humor.  Sometimes I think it's pretty silly.  And I want to use this humor to make others feel better.  To see someone else's eyes light up, like fireworks are shooting in their eyes, is special.

I also want to be honest this year.  Straight up honest, no "ehmmmm, sortaaaa" things.

I am going to become more independent. Ooh, it's scary just saying it.  I'll start out with the little things. This has to do with car stuff (I'll still ask for help cause it's my parents car) and with job things and I will make little baby steps towards being an adult.

I am going to spend little money.  I spent a crapload of money this year, I feel like a sinner.

I also would really, really love to take a dance class.  Any kind, any kind.  Just step right on up, dance class, and claim me. I have longed for a dance class for a while.  I used to do ballet and tap and jazz as a wee girl.  But am now a fish.

Speaking of fish, I am going to not obsess with swimming stuff.  I am quite competitive, although I do try to hide this competitiveness to save myself from getting caught up in it, all the while still getting caught up in it.  It's terrible.  I want to swim because I love it.  And, I do love it, I do.  I just become too worried with losing, and with not doing my best.  And my best is not: "Well, I tried hard and did my best, so that's good!"  My best is: "Wow Mallory! You dropped a bajillion seconds!"  And trust me, It is difficult to drop time every race.  I suppose that is why I am scared of racing now.  I used to love it.  The thrills, excitement, competition, and energy.  I will go back there again.

I am going to enjoy my youth-ness. I am not going to wish for the future, at all.  I am going to be glad that I am who I am, and that I am in this time and place.  I love home, and want to enjoy my time here.  So, I will not wish for the past, or wish for the future, but I will love the moment.

I am going to keep friendships alive with old friends. I will not just come up with excuses and say, "Well, we don't have any classes together" or "it might be awkward".  Because I want to spend time with those who make me happy.

I also have a couple more resolutions, but they are a little private.  So, I'll save em just for myself.


All in all, I am going to become a confident, outgoing, kind, sensitive, willing, and funny Mallory.  I am going to show myself that I can be who I want to be: a finer person.  A lovelier person.

-Mallory