Torn - Such a Weird Word

I am torn.  Between two things very important to me.  Work and Swimming.

This situation reminds me of the song called Torn sung by Natalie Imbruglia.
If you don't know this song, well maybe you should.  The music video is pretty good, also.

Back to my good ol' friend etymonline.com:

tear (v.) 

"pull apart," O.E. teran (class IV strong verb; past tense tær, pp. toren), from P.Gmc. *teran (cf. O.S. terian, M.Du. teren "to consume," O.H.G. zeran"to destroy," Ger. zehren, Goth. ga-tairan "to tear, destroy"), from PIE *der- "tear" (cf. Skt. drnati "cleaves, bursts," Gk. derein "to flay," Arm.terem "I flay," O.C.S. dera "to burst asunder," Bret. darn "piece"). The O.E. past tense survived long enough to get into Bible translations as tarebefore giving place 17c. to tore, which is from the old pp. toren. Sense of "to pull by force" (away from some situation or attachment) is attested from 1297. The noun meaning "act of tearing" is attested from 1666. To be torn between two things (desires, loyalties, etc.) is from 1871.

Read the bottom part: "to be torn between two things (desires, loyalties) is from 1871."

People have had problems like these, I imagine, all the way back into the late 1800's.
Should I marry this guy, or go to school first?  Should I have children or explore the world?

I am so indecisive.  It's my weakness.  I can't decide on something important just like that *snap yo fingers*.

I have "torn" moments when I can't decide whether or not to go to ball, (what with all the grinding nonsense and inappropriate-ness), whether I should take AP calc or AP stats, whether or not my cat should be put to sleep or not, whether I should go to zumba or not, whether I should swim or have my hair done, and if I have problems.  I think I have OCD.

By the way, for your information, one of my pet peeves is sharing water bottles and such.  I don't like to share germs, that's grrrross.  So, just don't ask.  And...don't just do it, either.

The one time I can think of a moment when I made a major decision in a VERY short amount of time was when my class went to Boston in 7th grade and we went to the Harvard Book Store.  My teacher only gave us like five minutes to pick out something to buy.   I went in, circled around some sweatshirt racks, saw a dark, deep red color sweatshirt with a cool design and "Harvard" printed on the front, picked it up, tried it on, and bought it.  All within one minute.  Seriously.  Fastest decision making evaah! The softness of the sweatshirt was the deal breaker.  It had fabric the softness of a beaver.  (they have soft hairs, right?)

I am too indecisive.

The End.

-Mallory