What is Life?

Throughout these past few years, I have learned a lot about my strengths and weaknesses.

I have learned what I am scared of.  When I am courageous.  When I hold back.  Who I like to spend time with.  And Who I am becoming.

I have grown in many ways: I've gotten taller ( I think ).  But mostly, I have become more confident and comfortable with who I am.  I used to be scared of many people and many situations.  I used to be embarrassed with how I looked and whether or not I would be accepted.  Many people don't have respect for who I am.  Because I don't go out every night and get drunk.  Cause I don't wear shirts with my boobs hanging out.  Because I don't cuss.  Because I don't cheat.  Because I know who I am.  And because of my religion.  Because I don't sleep around.

Funny how society is slowly switching itself inside out?  Ladies back in the day used to be respected for being a LADY.  Now, I am losing it because I respect myself and will not take crap from anyone about being who I am.

I am not saying that everyone is out to get me.  Because I know many sweet, genuinely nice people are out there who DO respect me.

I am writing this because I have finally formulated my thoughts on why people do what they do in high school.  (Sort of).

I am going to be who I am.  I am going to talk the way I want to.  I am going to dress whatever way I like. I am going to think whatever I desire.  I am not going to base what I say, off of what your comebacks are.

Part of the reason I want to get away from high school is because people are so rude to each other.  We say hurtful things, sometimes on accident, sometimes on purpose.  We occasionally beat each other up (if you're the violent type).  We roll our eyes at other girls we don't like the looks of.  We give elevator eyes to freaks, or even people we envy.  We avoid glances with others in the halls.  We don't say hi to each other.  We talk crap about people behind their backs.  We make it a habit of using the f-word frequently.  We criticize those who don't know certain things.

And I want to get away from it.  I don't want to be judged for who I am.  But the thing is, it's practically in our nature to judge others.  I judge others, I'm not gonna lie.  Even though I can't hear all the time when people are mocking another person or making fun of them, I can still tell by their actions.  Actions speak louder than words, people.

So, don't hesitate to laugh at me or the girl with weird hair.  Don't worry about talking crap about a certain friend, it's no big deal.  If it goes around, just tell him/her you didn't really mean it.  It doesn't matter if you think you are better than everyone else.

(Sarcasm was used in the last paragraph).

 Because the fact is: we ALL feel like we are better than others at some point in our lives.  At least I do.  There is a fine line between being confident with yourself and being confident that others beside you are weaker.  So, I am trying to build up more of my confidence by being nice to others.  Funny how my actions to help others are actually to help myself, huh?

What's sad is that school has sort of made me into a more bitter person.  I am still a happy girl, I do love life, I do.  I just have seemed to find more faults with those around me.  And with society, in general.  How terrible.

Let's see.  To conclude this long ramble, I'd like to make a promise that I will not talk about anyone for the next 24 hours.  (Yes, it's a short time period, but it's a start).  Here goes.

[Pinky promise].


-Mallory




HEEHEE:

AT Walmart